Hope

There lives a little shadow, that's always where you go,

he'll hide amongst the bushes, then be dancing under toe.

Constant companion is what you'll find you own,

He'll never leave your side, and you'll never be alone.

When your spirit is full of doubt, he'll be near don't you fret,

Even when you're troubled, and full of lives regret.

Through struggles and obstacles of the maddening sort,

You try to overcome, you look for last resorts.

A pain burdens you, your souls essence all but crushing,

Unable to withstand the trials, anxiety comes rushing.

Bleak is the sky now, and plagued is the minds thoughts,

Caught in the eternal limbo of death and forget me nots.

What then can separate you from the longing for better days,

How can you erase the clearing of the bitter smoggy haze.

What's keeping you from numbness, and embracing your apathy,

The little shadow always near, whispering lies of being happy.

Hope he is called, an imprisonment of falsehood that now is finally known,

He'll never leave your side, and you'll never be alone.

Husk

Wistful daydream, you have sung your last song,

The blue jay is dead, and life has gone wrong. 

Hear the silence as it screams in your ear,

The crushing pressure is all that is clear.

Harpsichord strings have all now snapped,

The shell you reside in now has you trapped.

A well fought battle this earth to you has given,

Tensions and burdens to madness you've been driven.

Petals of flowers lay shriveled at your feet,

What can be done; wake and repeat.

Prelude to Hope

...and loves only wish was to be free. So a solemn face hangs with moonlight upon its flesh. On the daunting day that breath leaves, this you'll take along with you. The only thing that mattered was having a love so true. This vehicle moves around the earth for sometimes a hundred years. At the beginning of life you are so eagerly awaited, so anticipated, so completely loved without even a soul having known your face. The joy you bring to the world when you arrive is monumental. There are parties, decorations, and gifts to ensure your well being and happiness. People travel from all over to see you, photograph you, kiss you and hold you in their arms. They care for you unconditionally, and welcome you to the world with the brightest smiles, kindest words, and excited praise. They would do anything for you, to protect you, to make a happy life for you, to see that you have everything you need. Now that the standard for love has been set, it is natural to find disappointment going forward.

When these silly childhood years have past, when all seemed painted with a hazy pinkish light, and the burdens of the world start ripping through the veil, you realize exactly where you are. The smoggy grayish air fills your sights now, the blackest tar of exasperated loneliness comes searching. Everywhere you turn something has withered or been broken. The hues of pink are gone, the scents of jasmine torn from your senses, the warmth in your chest has drained. Haven't you found a better place? Haven't your eyes gazed upon some promising endeavor? Haven't your ears heard a vibration of joy, or a fragrance that has captivated your sense of smell? Haven't your lips been pressed against an other's...as you absorb their every emotion? No. These are things that dreams are made of. The showers of stars dancing down from the skies, are all but saved for some other being. The raindrops that cascade down fleshy hills greet you daily as you look upon the mangled reflection you cast. Where could a heart go to seek refuge? A mile away, ten thousand? Perhaps these inner thoughts are purgatory for your lackluster, for your anxious mind and torturous indecisiveness.

Where then is an escape? How far can one go in this manner? What havoc can be held at bay? At the edge of the world where no man has been, there lies a stormy cliff with a horizon never-ending. A calm sea lies below, with water so still it looks as though it is made of glass. Your voice will call til it's emptiness resounds upon the waters below. Dare you spread your wings to fly? Dare not; for the gripping of binds that tie you, only greaten as you writhe. Banish your mind from its home and fill it with anything to satisfy the newly vacant spaces. Never will you find anything to extract the emotion that lives within your soul. But what if you deemed yourself soul-less? Should you then not have emotion? Ah, but even soul-less creatures carry an empty space to fill. What has taken residency in yours? The burdens you wear whether inside or outside shall destroy you in every way! To find a freedom of such a world, such a thought, such a feeling... you must surrender.

Abandon your every thought, feeling and desire. Most of us cannot. You see there lives a little shadow that's always where you go. You'll never escape it, but never find it, he is called hope.

Magical Melancholy

On a clear night of perfect navy drenched skies,

I escaped my familiar melancholy cries.

No need to hold back my most inner being,

For nothing but wonder was all he was seeing.

My cheeks hurt from laughing, and smiling so wide,

Our feelings for each other, we just couldn't hide.

The pastels were smeared across the vast azure,

Something magical was happening, of this I am sure.

Colors melted into navy, and the stars came out to play,

I knew in my heart, I'd never forget this day.

An evening stroll past quaint shops and little stands,

Was nothing to the feeling of our interlocking hands.

Electricity sparked, and popped and cracked,

All my life, he was what I had lacked.

The night dwindled down, and the hour grew late,

A kiss goodnight, to end this perfect date.

On a bright evening with the sunset so spectacular,

A tragedy occurred that simply broke my vernacular.

The ghosts he'd been running from, had caught up to him that day,

He simply couldn't do this right now, or this way.

The tattered heart that I bear in my chest was sent reeling in confusion,

Riots, and rivers raged through my soul; was this a twisted delusion?

Salt infused waterfalls burst from my eyes,

Will this life be anything more than broken promises and lies?

And on that day he stole my sight,

the one chasing ghosts within the night.

Perfect Paradox

I'll sing of rose colored dandies, and of peonies in November,

Of purple candied clouds, and blood oranges in September.

But nothing takes away the thought of what we know could be,

and nothing casting nothing, gets nothing back you see?

I'll write of perwinkle growing under a mossy pine,

and pale blue tulips curling like they're on a vine.

Still that moment comes creeping to morning and evening thought,

of the beauty and the wonder, that was so diligently fought.

I'll dance with leaves of palm trees swaying in the arctic air,

and penguins in the desert without a single care.

I'll talk of starry seas that go miles in the deep,

and ocean filled skies that always make me weep. 

But I'll never stop hoping for when we'll be together,

and I'll whisper to the empty even if it's til forever.

My Heart; Your Heart

my heart,

your heart.

in spirit,

or apart.

hear me,

love me.

don't leave,

don't go.

happy two,

i knew.

see me,

know me.

speak it,

feel it.

kiss me,

show me.

love is,

soul is.

hold me,

touch me.

your mind,

my kind.

always we,

forever be.

Desolate Speculation

A heart in plated glass stares out into the world. The velvet of the navy skies, hold her closely. Brilliant white stars look down at her and smile, almost as though they are welcoming her to them. The vastness of the atmosphere isn't unsettling. It surrounds her like a warm embrace from a distant loved one. She reaches out, stretching her limbs to connect with their gracious ambiance, but alas the thick, hard barrier keeps them just out of reach.

Soon the sun arrives, and the lovely nights all but forgotten. Warm rays of light kiss along her fragile skin through the walls of glass. Greetings of excitement of what could be; promise of cheerful outcomes. Billowy clouds sail across the pale ocean above, and the wind dances with the tree tops. She smiles feeling lively, and rejuvenated, but once again her efforts are held at bay.

Her spirit seems to burst from within, pinning itself against the taunting glass. If not for such a prison, she could float among the stratosphere, and whirl about the galaxy with her nebula companions. A spirit from another time, a soul from another place does remain trapped inside a hull of human flesh. She uses her energy to escape this torture, but the reverberation only wounds her. How can someone keep a flower encased in the dark, or a butterfly in a jar with no air? What cynical joke is being had?

Tightness forms around her. She suddenly realizes how small her quarters truly are. When the moon beams look upon her, or the sun shows his dazzling smile, she doesn't light up. She can see them calling her, beckoning with anguish in their eyes for her to be set free. But, it is no use. She is withering like the flower. She is suffocating as the butterfly.

Next to her the lungs sing out in healthy hallelujahs, for they've never known the sky, never felt the warmth of the sun. They're baffled by her dreams of leaving this, all they've known. "Protection lies here! Shelter, and comfort!" they explain.

The unknown is always calling her. Crying lovers suffering is just too much to bear. Flinging herself upon the glass she screams with all of her might. What could she be thinking? Surely she didn't think it could break the walls. Maybe she thought someone would hear her? Who could ever know?

The moon was out that night, and saw this heart-breaking view. Not a sound the moon could hear. Not even a far off hum. The heart was pressed against the glass in silent wails of hopelessness. The moons light dulled at this, and she sank very low indeed. Fading into translucence, she cried a thousand shooting stars. The onyx colored ceiling fell deep into the darkest depths of itself. Far deeper than the blackest black a human eye could fathom.

The sun, not far away heard of this dreadful happening and couldn't show his face. The sun without a smile is such a shameful sight. He simply couldn't bear to see this sorrow, and turned into an ember of dissipation.

The planets gathered around to see what happened there, and they too bore mourning in their spirits and chased the asteroids. The earth crumbled slowly without the sun and moon, while the heart, determined to break free, slammed herself back and forth in the cage. A bloody scene it was, her attempt at an escape.  The earth had, had enough but it broken into a billion pieces just as the heart exploded from her confinement.

Freedom had finally come to her! She could drift into the galaxies! Bruised and beaten she didn't even care, for now she could be where she belonged. But as luck would have it, her tragedy had taken everything away she'd ever loved. Is it really freedom, if you're all alone? Now the universe was her newfound cell, only this time, even hope had left her. She was now doomed to live out her days in the gloom of the nothing. 

Parasite

Wretched heart how doth thee betray me!

How you've lingered in your foolish optimism of what could be!

Curse your joyful songs! Banish your futile effort!

Your whispering hypnosis, your laughs so simply curt!

You hide there in my chest behind protective ribs of bone,

You scream of a fantasy that you have never known!

Beastly liar you've injured my mind,

Release me from this excruciating bind!

You've placed a rosy color of glass upon my gullible eye,

Now that it's been stolen, all I can do is cry.

It's such a putrid, rotting world with no love that could be true!

How dare you try to fool me, now I don't know what to do!

You ran away and broke in pieces when I needed you the most,

You're just another parasite, and I, a withering host. 

Heartache In My Eyes

How could you hold me in such a gentle way,

Your love you wouldn't give; you hid it far away

Over cloudy hilltops the sun screamed as it rose,

The stinging of a new day scorched from my head unto my toes.

Pretend to care, they always do,

Before we even started we were already through.

How could you kiss me with such a passion of sweet

Oh my beaten heart now lay between my feet.

Stop your wicked twists, your mind of cruel puppeteering,

My feelings I cried to you, but it was merely endearing.

Why must you waste the precious lives we live,

I don't have anything but myself to give.

Run, dash, sprint as fast as you might,

So you'll never feel the ache of a loves morbid bite.

They always say "in the past" but the future has become,

Assuming all they encounter are only a source of scum.

How funny it must be, how amusing this film of jeers,

How my heart gets ripped and stretched and bleeds out salty tears.

If you cared at all, if you saw some spark of a special one,

Then maybe there would be a hope instead of it already done.

Go then! Toss me aside as all the others have in recent times,

Laugh, and Live and hold your side as you mock my simplistic rhymes!

This is the dwindling of something that could be true,

How could you simply deny it, if you haven't even a clue?

Retreat to your tasks, and your burdens and your punch card.

Love is made of magic, it was never to be this hard.

When you've acquired your earth bound desires,

I won't hear your tears when you're surrounded by liars.

I stood here before you, my heart gushing out,

But nothing ever matters, when it, my hearts about.

You'll succeed in your endeavors and jolly good for you,

But you'll realize your chance was missed, and there'll be nothing you can do.

Farewell to hope, shoot down my lives desire, kill my only joy

They always see my soul as a momentary toy.

I leave you here alone, to find it later on,

my dried out heart that you carelessly stepped upon.  

The Battle of Obscure Reverie

Where have you been? When I was a child a moment captivated my soul. A fleck of flickering fire landed there upon my heart. That moment was forever the journey, forever the thought, the feeling, the push, the treasure of life. "Until my dying day" I swore to myself. There in a 10 year old's heart a vision of cherished love was born. A sworn promise was made that day; one of hope, dreams, and aspiration. Always pushed aside, looked over by those other than family. Oddity consumed her being, her mind always spinning in fantasy. Pictures came to her mind over the years, optic hallucinations of a joyful life. Doused in honey colored overlays of what would be. Through all of these allurements one constant rang ever steadfast, that a man of spirit would appreciate this wild thing. Could someone love this untamed presence trapped inside such a battered husk? 

Into the wide world she cast her soul; unrestricted, relentless. Time and time again rejection loomed overhead. Still, the strings of her hope held her high, like that of a thousand balloons soaring through clouds of promise. With each turn an angry clash resounded, prescient to the stinging slice of a single thread being torn from the cluster. Hope sagged slightly with the loss of opportunity, but her heart sang clearly, for this was merely a stepping stone. She realized she was now only closer to that amber utopia of happiness. Of course not any suitor would be the path to this euphoric atmosphere. 

While her heart seemed to be full of energy, and livelihood, almost bursting from her earth bound shell, her mind was a constant cling to the horrors of what could be. Consciousness danced itself into the same wide world, laughing and full of wonder and excitement. Quickly shot down by poachers of hate, it retreated into itself, becoming devoured by worrisome uncertainty. Anxiety was born in the deepest depths of her mentality, and as it grew faster and faster, the heart could barely keep up. This was the beginning of an exasperating battle between the two, but her essence remained strong. 

Two thousand long years passed and the mind had all but poisoned her. Lost in the sea of broken dreams, gasping for air in the turmoil of the waves of tears and blood she shrieked and clawed. She clutched the air in search of something to pull her from the wretched lies, and soft spoken beatings. "Just let me go" she shrieked between gasps. Her eyes closed and she sank into the wavy currents, deeper and deeper. She sat on the ocean floor with shock. Nothing moved, her mind was still. The light grew darker and darker with each passing moment, but still she remained. A warmth came over her, and her heart smiled. As she floated to the surface again, golden tulips surrounded her. That refreshing feeling returned to her. She knew her heart would never give up. She would find what she was seeking one day. Her heart strings were all but gone, with the exception of the very last one. Woven in iron the last thread held her. "But even iron rusts" she muttered.

Her eyes lifted to the sky and the spattered stars were out performing their evening waltz. Her hope was not yet dead, it could never die. Then when the moon showed her shining rays, he appeared. A benevolent explosion overwhelmed her and she fell to the ground in astonished elation. The poison of her apprehension seeped out from her mind, and repelled itself completely. Their battle had ended, and she was immersed into that wonderful day dream, soaked with amber colored skies, and of everlasting bliss. 

Entrapment

A riot in a twisted frame,

a blundering essence does remain.

Halt there upon the oaken door,

Mindless feelings falling through the floor.

Shout to the nothing, and beat down the vines,

Clawing fingertips against the countless binds.

Salted streams of clarity escape the battered eyes,

Ribs enclosed in seamless rivets, break out in wretched cries.

Toiling through the darkest bleak; bone and flesh are torn apart

The clamoring of the chains and iron, beat down upon the heart.

Moreover the screeching ravens, the shredded love has past

For who could ever love this soul, and make it truly last?

Fictitious Joy

    

The many shades of sunset skies pour out across the lands,

and the billowing clouds above stretch out their wispy hands.

Caught between the summer sun, and moonlit evenings that follow,

a porous heart cries out, with an echoing against its hollow.

The misty perfumed air leaves a rosy colored trail,

but an empty love encircles, and leaves the spirit frail.

Restless, but still dancing to the only song it knows,

it glides through the phony smiles and many proud egos.

A glittering wonderland of magic, hope and love,

is all that's seen through the eyes of this enchanted dove.

Alas it's all but a dark and wretched facade of loveless smiles,

the tyranny of souls creeps over the land for miles.

Searching, always searching for its true counterpart,

is the yearning for this broken and somewhat crackled heart.

Dainty stars come out to play across plum colored skies,

just as the loneliness pours out from her tired eyes.

A belonging is there somewhere is all she's ever been told

trapped in a world of things so cruel of stature, greed, and cold.

The souls that wear their veil of pride peel back her reverie.

Blinded by the gloomy anguish, she struggles not to see

Fictitious joy flows through their callous veins,

and a vacant, empty shell is now all that remains.

Piercing her flesh like a thousand daggers and traps,

the frail one shrivels down, to a broken heart collapse.

The many shades of sunset skies will never now be found,

a fractured beaten heart, now lies upon the ground.

The Wilted Tulip

The wilted tulip's at my door;

Her fragile petals fallen to the floor.

The withered stem that holds her tall;

Can't promise harm does not befall.

Leafy hands to the ground are stretched;

Stress marks on her body, etched.

Her color is fading from green to brown;

Her face hangs just above the ground.

She looks at me with pollen in her eyes;

Tries to call out between her cries.

This wilted little tulip is not past gone;

She has the strength to carry on.

A bit of sun and water too;

Are just enough to get her through.