She closed her eyes and could see it agian; the life she had always dreamed about.
It wasn't just the farmstyle house across the open rolling hills, the horses and dogs that ran around happily, or her house full of happy children. In the near distance she could hear the waves crashing onto the sandy beaches. The sky painted a blue of the richest kind, kissed with white billowing clouds. No, this wasn't what made it all come together in her mind. His car pulls up; he's home from work. He greets her in the kitchen with a warm embrace and tender kiss. He gazes into her eyes and whispers "I love you" How can he do that? How can every time he looks at her it's as if he's falling in love with her for the very first time.
A noise pulls her back to reality; a notification dings on her phone. Payment due. Ding. Low balance. Ding. Payment due. Ding. Don't forget to order your mandatory items for school. Stress. She goes to him, always worried whether she's disturbing him. She talks to him. Two ways it could go; what will it be today? The snappy comment, or the shrug? Snappy comment; she's not doing her part with the income. She works multiple jobs and cares for their child. Doing the best she can; never good enough. The shrug; your feelings are of no concern to me. I don't know what to say about that. Sigh.
The child; her main source of joy. Also stress to make a good life for the child; off to school. His car pulls up; he's home from work. He greets his computer near his desk; no comment to her. She greets him, asks about his day. The shrug returns. He has a seat and slides on his headphones. The tapping of keys tells the computer "I love you" She keeps herself busy so
she doesn't notice the loneliness. Working 2 jobs today. Too tired to
feel sad. Too weak to cry. Stay awake and let the lonely seep in, or
sleep and bring on even quicker- another day older, another day
unchanged. Closing her eyes..."There you are, the life I always wanted"
So sad :( :(
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